What is a midlife crisis?

I Googled the question and came up with:

 “A midlife crisis is a period or phase of life transition when a person begins to question the things that they have accomplished or achieved and whether those same things still provide a sense of fulfilment and meaning,” says Michael G. Wetter, Psychologist.

Common triggers include job loss, health concerns, a parent's death or illness, children moving out, or even day-to-day overwhelm. The crisis period. This stage typically involves some examination of your doubts, relationships, values, and sense of self.

Does any of this sound familiar?

You may feel that you’ve been sleepwalking through life, going from school to college to a first job, then up a career ladder, taking on responsibilities, achieving short and medium term goals, supporting those around you.

And then you get a jolt, a reminder of mortality.

Put simply, midlife crisis is that moment when you wake up, look around and realise “this is not where I want to end up” 

And then wonder “if not this, then what?”

 Sound familiar?

That moment of truth can send you spiralling into depression, despair, and eventual burnout, or else grasping at straws and short-term artificial paradises, or applying for positions that seem more and more like just the same thing with a different company.

And you begin to wonder if it’s just too late to change course.

But what if it’s not too late? What if you heeded that wakeup call?

Let’s take stock. What do you really want from life at this point?

 When you were younger, it was probably important to make your mark, to move up the ladder. But is that really worth the  pressures and the stress now ? perhaps it is, but perhaps status and even salary have moved down our priorities, in favour of other things, like personal time.

If I ask you what you really want and you say “I want a bigger house” I would ask. “Why do you want a bigger house?”

nd you might answer “I grew up in a big house. That’s part of who I am.”

Or you might say ”I want to show I’ve succeeded”

And you might answer “Well, I grew up in a small house, and I always said that when I succeeded, I would have a big one”.

And as a coach, I might ask you what’s important about that, and then “what’s it important about showing that you’ve succeeded?”, and “who do you want to show your success to?”. Starting from what the the bigger house really means to you at this point. we would gradually peel the onion of your values and priorities to get to who you are and what you really want today.

Because your values and priorities evolve over your life as you do, sometimes without even realising it. , you can end up living by priorities that no longer fit you

So if you are thinking “this is not where I want to end up” 

And then wondering “if not this, then what?” let’s chat. There are a lot more possibilities out there for you than you might now suppose. A wakeup call is not necessarily an alarm. Just a reminder to get back on track.

If you would like to continue the conversation in a free and confidential, no-obligation chat, contact me at regan@reganduclosel.com.